The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Parenting

A few years ago I read John Maxwell’s book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. As I read this book I was inspired to write my own list of “irrefutable laws.” I call it the “21 Irrefutable Laws of Parenting.”

  1. Someone will poop right when you’re late and running out the door.

  2. Someone will run naked into your living room when you are entertaining guests.

  3. Someone will throw your cell phone into the bathtub… at least once.

  4. Someone will hide your keys and forget where they are.

  5. Someone will make funny comments about “certain body parts” … publicly.

  6. You will have to touch poop.

  7. You will be the couple no one wants to sit next to in the restaurant… at least once.

  8. You will feel like quitting… at least once.

  9. You will have to continually evaluate and revise your parenting style.

  10. You will wonder whether or not spanking is the best option.

  11. They will act like you.

  12. They will accept your apology.

  13. They will make you laugh.

  14. They will teach you about grace.

  15. They will come up with the most creative places to hide food they don’t want to eat.

  16. At least once they will cut their own hair with sharp, adult-only objects.

  17. At least once they will get a bruise that looks for sure like child abuse.

  18. At least once they will make you curse (at least in your head).

  19. At least once they will throw themselves screaming to the ground.

  20. At least once they will make loud, obnoxious body noises… and people will think it was you

  21. Being a parent is the highest title of honor and the best experience… ever. Even God chose to refer to Himself as “Father.”

Depending on what stage of parenting you are in, you may have laughed or cried as you read that list, but deep down inside you probably felt a spark of hope… “I’m not the only one!” Sometimes we think we’re the only ones to EVER go through what we’re enduring! We think we’re breaking new ground with our kid’s level of insanity and our own sense of “I don’t have a clue.” I’ve found myself saying things to my kids that I’m 100% certain no other parent has ever had to say:

  • “Why did you hide that egg under your bed?”

  • “I’ve told you one hundred times… hang your coat up when you come in the house!”

  • “SHUT THE DOOR!”

  • “Stop tattling!”

  • “You just peed five minutes ago!”

Then I hear other parents talking and I realize… we’re all working through similar levels of insanity! My kids are normal and I’m not the worst parent in the world! This is parenting in the “First Half.”

Welcome to the journey!

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